Daniel Conderman 
Scene: Christmas night at the Hey Barn, a quiet sanctuary where Hank “The Babe” Williams sits alone in the glow of a single string of lights, nursing a bottle of eggnog. The air is heavy with the scent of pine, and the faint echoes of holiday laughter drift in from nearby homes. But Hank isn’t celebrating—he’s brooding.
For weeks, Hank had been locked in a petty feud with Joe Joe Sausage Head, their matches devolving into endless squabbles over WienerCoin scandals and ego-driven antics. It had been entertaining for the crowd, sure, but now, as the holiday silence settled over him, Hank felt an unsettling emptiness. What was it all for? Where was the glory, the purpose, the meaning in his journey?
As he leaned back in his chair, his eyes wandered to an old championship belt hanging on the wall, a relic of his past triumphs. It wasn’t the title itself that held his gaze but the memories tied to it—the roaring crowds, the sense of pride, the knowledge that he was part of something bigger. Somewhere along the way, he had lost that spark.
That’s when it happened.
The Flicker of Truth
The lights in the barn flickered, and the temperature dropped. Hank sat upright, scanning the room. He wasn’t the superstitious type, but something about the sudden chill raised the hairs on the back of his neck. Then, in the corner of his eye, he saw it: faint glowing runes appearing on the floor, their patterns pulsating like a heartbeat.
A clock began ticking—not from the wall, but from nowhere and everywhere at once. Time seemed to warp around him, the seconds stretching and compressing as the runes grew brighter. A voice, low and ominous, echoed in his ears:
“Your time is slipping, Babe. What will you do with what remains?”
It was the voice of the Timekeeper, the mysterious figure who had haunted the Smack Talk Universe for months. Hank felt a jolt of anger and defiance rise in him. Who was this Timekeeper to question his choices? But deep down, he knew the voice wasn’t wrong.
As quickly as it began, the phenomenon ended, leaving Hank alone in the stillness. But the encounter had planted a seed of clarity in his mind.
A New Focus
Over the next few days, Hank couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d been wasting his energy on trivial battles. Sure, Joe Joe was an easy target, but was that the kind of legacy Hank wanted to leave behind? The Timekeeper’s cryptic taunts had awakened something in him—a hunger not just to win but to uncover the truth.
On Christmas morning, as families opened gifts and shared meals, Hank found himself at the local high school, seeking out his old mentor, Low Energy. The janitor-turned-legend had always been a source of wisdom, even in his quiet retirement.
Low Energy, mopping the gym floor, greeted Hank with a tired smile. “What brings you here, Babe? Thought you’d be off flexing your biceps for the cameras.”
Hank chuckled but quickly turned serious. “I need answers. About the Timekeeper. About Aeloria. You always had a way of seeing through the noise. What’s really going on here?”
Low Energy paused, leaning on his mop. “The Timekeeper, huh? I’ve heard the whispers. He’s not just a man, Hank. He’s a force—a reflection of what we wrestlers bring into the ring. The chaos, the egos, the feuds… it all feeds him. If you want to beat him, you’ve got to bring clarity to your purpose. Fight not for yourself, but for something bigger.”
Hank nodded, the pieces falling into place. It wasn’t about chasing glory for the sake of it—it was about standing for something, uncovering the truth, and protecting the Smack Talk Universe from whatever game the Timekeeper was playing.
The Call to Action
By the time Boxing Day rolled around, Hank was a man on a mission. Gone was the petty squabbler, replaced by a determined warrior ready to face the unknown. In his first promo of the night, he stood in the center of the ring, his voice steady and resolute:
“Joe Joe, you’re off the hook—for now. The Timekeeper has been pulling strings in the shadows for too long, and it’s time someone pulled back the curtain. I don’t know who he is or what he wants, but I’ll be damned if I let him control the fate of this league. This isn’t just about me. It’s about all of us. So, Timekeeper—if you’re listening—know this: your time is up.”
The crowd erupted, sensing the beginning of something monumental. Hank’s quest for answers had begun, and the Smack Talk Universe would never be the same.
Smack Talkers, the holiday magic isn’t over yet! As we gear up for our Boxing Day Special, Hank “The Babe” Williams has declared it’s time to get serious about uncovering the mysteries surrounding The Timekeeper. With the spirit of Christmas still lingering, Hank’s change of heart and newfound focus have brought him to the forefront of the search for truth.
Solving the First Riddle: The Flame of Clarity
In the spirit of giving, we’re unwrapping the answer to the very first riddle:
Riddle #1:
“I’m not alive, yet I grow;
I don’t have lungs, but I need air to show.
The Timekeeper knows me well—
Solve my riddle, break the spell.”
Answer: Fire
Yes, fire—the timeless, uncontained, and essential element—is tied to The Timekeeper’s enigmatic presence. What role does it play in Aeloria’s strange reality-bending magic? That’s still a burning question!
Riddles Yet to Be Solved
Here are the remaining mysteries waiting to be unraveled:
🔍 Riddle #2
Tick-tock, but no clock.
An ancient rhyme in every knock.
I keep the beat, I keep the pace—
The Timekeeper’s written all over my face.
🔍 Riddle #3
Before me, you see through haze.
With me, memories replay their days.
The keeper holds me, clear and bright,
To find the answer, seek the light.
🔍 Riddle #4
I loop, I stretch, I bend, I fold—
I’m neither young, nor am I old.
Through me, the past and future meet;
Find my path, and time will repeat.
🔍 Riddle #5
Many have sought me, few have seen;
I’m always there, though I remain unseen.
The keeper holds my key in hand;
Solve me, and you’ll understand.
