Daniel Conderman 
📣 Smack Talkers, the time is NOW!
We’re halfway through the week, and the Smack Talk Wrestling Universe is heating up faster than Granny’s gravy on Thanksgiving! With Project Timekeeper puzzling the league and epic matches on the horizon, let’s dive into everything that’s keeping us on the edge of our seats.
**🔍 Riddle Me This: Project Timekeeper Updates
The Tech Kids and PeeWee have been hard at work, but the clock is still ticking on these mysteries. Haven’t cracked the riddles yet? Here’s a quick recap:
1️⃣ “I’m not alive, yet I grow; I don’t have lungs, but I need air to show. The Timekeeper knows me well—solve my riddle, break the spell.”
2️⃣ “Tick-tock, but no clock. An ancient rhyme in every knock. I keep the beat, I keep the pace—The Timekeeper’s written all over my face.”
3️⃣ “Before me, you see through haze. With me, memories replay their days. The keeper holds me, clear and bright; to find the answer, seek the light.”
4️⃣ “I loop, I stretch, I bend, I fold—I’m neither young, nor am I old. Through me, the past and future meet; find my path, and time will repeat.”
5️⃣ “Many have sought me, few have seen; I’m always there, though I remain unseen. The keeper holds my key in hand; solve me, and you’ll understand.”
💬 PeeWee’s Latest Discovery:
“I swear, I just saw High Energy polishing the Hey Barn’s clock, muttering something about ‘fixing what’s broken.’ Except… wasn’t he supposed to be in retirement? I don’t trust it, Smack Talkers. Keep your eyes peeled!”
👥 We Need You!
Think you’ve got the answers? Head to the website or drop your theories in the Discord. Don’t forget—the Timekeeper doesn’t wait for anyone, and the Aeloria Effect is only getting stronger!
**🔥 The Road to the Rusty Pelican: This Week’s Matches
This Saturday night, the Rusty Pelican Dock Bar is hosting one of the most chaotic cards we’ve ever seen! Here’s what’s on tap:
- Ann Von Chovie vs. The Enigma Phoenix
Ann’s hunger for gold is undeniable, but The Enigma Phoenix won’t go down without a fight. Can Ann finally punch her ticket to a title shot? - Joe Joe Sausage Head vs. Bungston Big Bucks
The WienerCoin saga continues! Joe Joe is hellbent on revenge, but Bungston has a few dirty tricks left up his sleeve. - Furry FUPA’s Debut Match
The master of illusion takes to the ring for the first time! Will her Fupa Snap leave the crowd in awe—or in stitches? - Santa Claws and Alphabet Soup vs. The Triad of Oddities
A tag-team showdown where chaos is guaranteed! Can Santa and his spelling-savvy partner bring down the unpredictable Triad?
🎟 Don’t Miss It!
The Rusty Pelican Dock Bar is the place to be this Saturday. Bring your theories, your wrestler promos, and your appetite for chaos—because this show is going to be wild!
🎤 A Word from The Commish:
“Listen up, Smack Talkers! The ring isn’t just a place for wrestling—it’s a place for creativity, storytelling, and, most importantly, YOU. Whether you’re solving riddles, cutting promos, or just sitting back to watch the chaos unfold, you’re part of something special here. Let’s make this week one for the history books!”
💥 So, what are you waiting for?
Solve the riddles. Stake your claims. Get involved. The Smack Talk Universe is only as wild and weird as YOU make it.
👉 Visit the website or hop into the Discord now!
Stay chaotic,
The Smack Talk Wrestling Team
