Daniel Conderman 
In Edgerton, Wisconsin—a picturesque little spot on the map if you blink a few times—things haven’t exactly been normal these past six months. You’d think that in a place famous for its quiet backroads and that certain “cheese curd charm,” the strangest thing you’d find might be a double rainbow over Lake Koshkonong. But, oh, my friends, the residents of Edgerton have outdone themselves.
Strange Story #1: The Phantom Post Office Crooner
A postal worker reported that, every Wednesday around noon, an unseen vocalist serenaded the lobby with show tunes from The Sound of Music. Investigations led to the discovery of a vintage singing telegram device left on “permanent demonstration mode.” The real marvel? No one ever bothered to turn it off because, as one townsperson said, “We like our mail to have a soundtrack.” And now you know why local letter carriers swear they hear Julie Andrews every time they lick a stamp.
Strange Story #2: Cows Taking Over the Library
Next up, perhaps you heard about the Edgerton Public Library’s biggest nuisance—runaway dairy cattle. Not your typical late-fee fiasco. These Holstein Houdinis allegedly trotted right through the open front doors, presumably looking for the book drop. After a bit of comedic chaos—and a thoroughly unplanned “cleanup in Aisle Moo”—the cows were enticed out with, of all things, a reading from the latest barnyard-themed children’s book. Maybe next time, they’ll remember to get a library card before dropping by.
Strange Story #3: The UFO That Wasn’t
Then there’s the widely-discussed UFO sighting. Last October, half the town swore a disc-like glowing object was zooming through the night sky. Local conspiracy buffs were certain intergalactic visitors chose Edgerton as their new vacation spot. Turns out, Old Man Henderson had strapped LED lights to his cousin’s new drone as part of a Halloween prank. Henderson’s official comment? “I still say them aliens are real, but they didn’t come on my watch.”
Strange Story #4: The Great Highway 59 Mystery Crop Circle
A three-foot circular pattern appeared overnight in a cornfield outside of Edgerton, prompting alien talk once again. But, on closer inspection, the “crop circle” ended up being a lone inflatable kiddie pool that somehow blew in from the neighbor’s yard, flattening stalks in a perfect ring. Farmer Johnson was quoted as saying, “Well, it’s cheaper than me having to rent a harvester for that patch.”
Strange Story #5: Edgerton’s Bigfoot-ish Celebrity
And at last, my personal favorite: For a few days in November, the rumor mill claimed Bigfoot had been sighted lurking near Rock River. Through grainy photos, over-the-fence gossip, and a suspiciously large footprint in the mud, you might have expected a Sasquatch-centered tourist boom. However, local investigators identified the “footprint” as a novelty clown shoe, which had apparently washed up from who-knows-where. The only thing confirmed? Whomever wore that giant clown shoe left town in a big hurry—puns entirely intended.
So, my friends, if you ever find yourself longing for a place where library-visiting cows and silly UFO pranks brighten up the humdrum of daily life, turn your compass to Edgerton, Wisconsin. Because, as we’ve seen these last six months, the most normal parts of Edgerton are just about as strange as they come.
I am not Paul Harvey… Good day!
