🛸 TOP SECRET: Operation Saucer Frame 🖼️

CLASSIFIED EYES ONLY – DO NOT SHARE UNLESS YOU’RE WEARING TINFOIL

Agent Dan “Cheddar Curtain” Conderman, Supreme Field Marshal of the Great Lakes Undercover Extraterrestrial Surveillance & Tacky Art Recovery Division (G.L.U.E.S.T.A.R.R.D.), is mobilizing Operation Saucer Frame on March XX, 20XX.

This mission is so top secret, even the squirrels have signed NDAs. The neighbor’s garden gnome thinks he knows, but we replaced him with a decoy last Tuesday. No one talks. Not even the wind.

The objective? Collect and repurpose tacky thrift store landscape paintings with explosive UFO upgrades. Yes, the cheesy, printed kind. The kind grandma gave you when she ran out of doilies. Target acquired.

🎯 MISSION GOAL:

Collect six to eight Large Cheese-Grade Paintings of Suspicious Mountains, Lumpy Fields, or Disinterested Oceans from multiple thrift strongholds across Southern Wisconsin. Afterward, Agent Cheddar Curtain will infiltrate his home base and artify the paintings by gluing on UFOs and mysterious flying craft like a rogue agent with a glue stick and a dream.

🗺️ TARGET ZONES & CODE NAMES:

Operation Nanna Nostalgia
📍 Edgerton Community Outreach Thrift Store
🔑 Code: “Gravy Mountain Alpha”
👀 Notes: Excellent starting point. Agents report high probability of misty barn scenes and awkward deer.
Operation Mothership Summit
📍 St. Vincent de Paul – Fort Atkinson
🔑 Code: “Shimmer Hill Bravo”
👀 Notes: Known for wall-sized thunderstorm prints with majestic eagles. Watch for clowns. Not paintings. Actual clowns.
Operation Bargain Warp Gate
📍 Twice Is Nice – Jefferson
🔑 Code: “Fog Swamp Charlie”
👀 Notes: Supposedly haunted by the ghost of a woman who only donates Thomas Kinkade knockoffs. Perfect for saucer insertions.
Operation Lakeside Infiltration
📍 St. Vincent de Paul – Lake Mills
🔑 Code: “Misty Canoe Delta”
👀 Notes: Targets likely to include pastel rowboat scenes. Great for alien abduction vignettes.
Operation Dairy Drift
📍 St. Vincent de Paul – Stoughton
🔑 Code: “Cattle Grid Echo”
👀 Notes: Rural scenes with too many fences. Every fence is a metaphor for your creativity breaking free.
Operation Final Beamdown
📍 Agrace Thrift – Madison East
🔑 Code: “Suburbia Gamma Ray”
👀 Notes: Urban landscapes, potential crossover with Cold War-style office prints. Also, coffee mugs with cats.

🧰 SUPPLY KIT CHECKLIST:

✅ Bag of UFO images (preferably blending in style)
✅ Mod Podge or glue stick of destiny
✅ Scissors of Truth
✅ One XL hoodie for disguise (bonus if it says “#1 Grandpa”)
✅ Thermos full of anti-disillusionment fluid (aka coffee)
✅ Backup disguise: sunglasses and overconfidence

🎙️ BRIEFING TO AGENTS:

“This isn’t just a thrift run. It’s a full-scale interdimensional cultural reclamation mission. The landscapes of Wisconsin have been too peaceful for too long. They require orb insertion. Tractor beams. Mystery. Wonder. Mild paranoia.”

Any agent caught revealing the plan to a civilian will be forced to listen to 14 hours of VHS tapes featuring nothing but reruns of Bob Ross not painting UFOs. You’ve been warned.

Remember, loose lips ruin glue jobs.

FINAL NOTES:

Expect snacks. Expect deals. Expect someone to say, “Why are you buying all these?” Respond only with:
“I cannot confirm or deny the presence of aliens in this painting, ma’am.”

📡 End of Transmission
🛸 Fly safe, Commander Curtain
👽 The saucers are watching