I was listening to Tim Conway Jr. when someone, in a moment of profound wisdom, declared:
“You need to be less judgmental and more inquisitive.”
Now, most people heard this as a plea for kindness—an encouragement to consider what’s going on in someone’s life that might lead them to overeat. Trauma, stress, metabolism, childhood habits—serious stuff.
But me? A guy currently waging a war against his own waistline? My brain took a sharp left turn into the land of food-driven fantasy.
“Be more inquisitive?” Oh, I will be.
Because if someone is willing to trade in their looks, their health, and their ability to confidently ride in a canoe for a meal… I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY’RE EATING.
If it’s that good, that transcendent, I want the recipe, the location, and possibly a life-altering bite.
I’m talking about next-level, deal-with-the-devil kind of food. The black-market, underground, “you must be invited” secret supper club cuisine that has people throwing BMI charts out the window like a Wall Street meltdown.
- Is it a burger so rich in umami it has a net worth?
- A pizza made from the tears of a fallen angel?
- Tacos that come with a legal disclaimer because they’ve ended marriages?
I need answers.
You see, when you’re losing weight, you start seeing things differently. You shift from “Oh, I just eat when I’m hungry” to “What wizardry hath befallen this kitchen to make this plate worthy of my downfall?”
And when people start giving up entire decades of life expectancy for one more bite? That’s EXPLORER-TIER INFORMATION. That’s “Indiana Jones but with a bib” energy.
I mean, there are Monks who have meditated in the Himalayas for decades just to achieve enlightenment, and here’s a guy ready to sacrifice his entire circulatory system for a sauce. That deserves investigation.
Am I saying I want to relapse? No. But if I were to give up on this weight loss journey, I at least want it to be for something legendary. Not some sad, clearance-rack gas station donut that tastes like regret.
So yeah. Perspective matters. Some people heard, “Be kind and understanding.”
I heard, “Find out where the good stuff is.”
And in the end? Maybe we’re both right.
