Level 1–3 Adventure Module

Welcome to Dungeons & Dragons Fifth Edition in the View Askewniverse—a world where convenience stores, malls and pop-culture catchphrases brim with real magic. You’ll use the familiar 5e ruleset, but tap new backgrounds (the Clerk, the Fanboy), subclasses (College of Conversational Philosophy, Domain of Convenience) and the custom Pop Culture Knowledge skill to turn movie quotes into spells. Expect coffee-powered healing, cow-suit cultists and escalators that serve as deadly traps. Your goal is simple: recover the Sacred VHS, survive a gauntlet of animated snack machines and cultists, then face the Tray Lord Sentinel. Prepare for wit-fueled combat, improvised banter checks and the knowledge that even a broken VCR can change fate. Gather your party, sharpen your one-liners and let’s roll initiative.

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At a Glance

• Levels: 1–3
• Playtime: 2–4 hours
• XP Budget: ~900 XP per character
• Setting: Abandoned Eden Prairie Mall, food court, escalator maze, secret basement vault
• Key NPCs: Dante Hicks, Randal Graves, Jay
• Big Bad: Cult of the Consumer; final guardian “Tray Lord Sentinel”

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🧭 How to Use This Adventure

1. Plug-and-Play Format

Each Area (1–5) is a fully self-contained encounter zone:

• Designed for exploration, skill challenges, or combat (DM’s choice).
• Flavor text is provided. Use it for read-alouds to instantly immerse players.
• Art assets match each zone and NPC/monster type, helping with visual immersion (drop them into VTT or show them at the table).

2. NPCs from the Askewniverse

Jay, Silent Bob, Dante, and Randal are used as story hooks—not active characters. They function like Greek chorus/sources of intel:

• Treat their tips like quest rumors.
• You can bring them in as backup mid-fight, or just leave them hanging back at the Quick Stop.

3. Difficulty & Level

Balanced for 3–5 players at Level 1-3.

• Enemies use reskinned stat blocks (cultists, animated armor, etc.) with flavor rewrites.
• You can scale up threats with simple modifiers (e.g., more Tray Lords, or trap layers in the escalator maze).

4. Exploration vs. Combat

• Players can sneak, bribe, confuse, or challenge their way through rooms.
• Treat cultists like weirdos at a LARP who will attack if provoked, but might stop to preach first.
• Snack machine minions and animated mannequins are good for spooking, not overwhelming.

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🎁 What’s at Stake?

The Sacred VHS

• Anyone who watches it (or attunes to it) gains visions of the “lost Askewniverse”—granting vague knowledge of other universes or prophecies (DM’s call: lore dump, bonus spell, strange madness).
• Could be sold to a collector, used in rituals, or launched as a found-footage empire.

Boom Box of Holding

• A unique magic item. Functions like a Bag of Holding, but only for media.
• Can play any cassette or VHS stored inside via magical aux port.
• In combat, may produce sonic blasts if used creatively.

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🧩 DM Tips & Optional Expansions

• Let your players get weird. This is a story about nobodies walking into a cursed mall for a dumb reason and stumbling onto a cult. Reward side tangents and stoner logic.
• Use mall nostalgia. Let them find old stores, cracked fountains, broken kiosks. Ask players “What store was your favorite growing up?” and weave it in.
• If they try to burn the mall down? Let it happen. A dramatic escape from flaming neon hell is a valid ending.
• The Sentinel is a miniboss. The Tray Lord shouldn’t be a TPK machine. He’s tough but dumb—his combat pattern can be broken with creative distractions (e.g., offering him food, spinning his trays, etc.)

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📼 Ending the Session

• If they get the tape: what now? Do they watch it? Sell it? Found a new religion?
• If they fail: the mall doors close. A new cult forms in their name.

Either way, the mall always resets. Like a rerun.

Next shift’s coming.

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1. Adventure Introduction

You only stopped at the Quick Stop for smokes. Randal was holding court behind the counter, bitching about mall-walkers and microwave burritos.

“You ever hear of the Eden Prairie Mall? Place is dead. But they say there’s a tape in there—some bootleg, deep-cut VHS with scenes that never made it into any of the Askewniverse movies.”
Dante, without looking up from the register tape, muttered, “Yeah, they worship it. Bunch of freaks in robes down by the food court.”

Jay perked up, eyes wide. “Swear to God, bro, I saw a cow suit cultist and this huge robot with trays for hands guarding the thing. Like—boss fight level.”

Silent Bob just nodded once, dead serious.

Adventure Hooks

1. Dante’s Pitch (Dante Hicks appears via message or in person):
   “Recover that tape and I’ll cut you in on every missing scene.”
2. Randal’s Dare (Randal Graves, smirking):
   “I’ll bet you’ll bolt when those escalators start shifting.”
3. Jay’s Opportunity (Jay on a crackly phone line):
   “I’ve got bootlegs to trade if you bring me the VHS.”

Now, flickering neon overhead barely spells out Eden Prairie Mall. Dust floats in shafts of dying light through the cracked glass doors. The place breathes with the low hum of forgotten machines.
And somewhere inside, something waits.

You step through.

🎬 Overview

This is a one-shot dungeon crawl set in a decaying suburban mall where a fringe cult believes the key to enlightenment lies in a lost VHS tape. That tape, the Sacred VHS, is said to contain deleted scenes from every Askewniverse movie—a holy artifact for pop culture weirdos. Your players? They’re just trying to survive an escalating series of bizarre mall encounters and, maybe, claim the tape themselves.

Tone:

• Sardonic. Dusty. Occult but stupid. Think Clerks meets The Evil Dead, with a dash of Mallrats.
• Horror-light, absurd-heavy. The stakes feel real, but the world refuses to take itself seriously.

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2. Map Key & Numbered Areas

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1. Main Entrance & Lobby
2. Food Court Gauntlet
3. Escalator Maze
4. Basement Stairwell
5. Vault Chamber

Secrets in the Appendix

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3. Area Descriptions & Read‑Aloud

Area 1: Main Entrance & Lobby

Read‑Aloud:
“Neon signs flicker. Mannequin eyes track your every step. The main doors choke on dust. A service panel hums faintly by a side door.”

Features:

• Locked main doors (DC 12 Investigation to find service entrance)
• Side panel (DC 12 Athletics to pry; DC 12 Sleight of Hand to hotwire)

Skill Challenge:

• Succeed on 3 DC 12 checks before 1 failure.
• Success: Enter unnoticed.
• Failure: Mall speakers blast cult chants; 2d4 Cultist Fanatics rush in.

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Area 2: Food Court Gauntlet

Read‑Aloud:
“Tables lie overturned. Fryer fires glow like infernal portals. A cow‑suit acolyte jingles near snack kiosks, cultists chant by a portal of flame.”

Encounter:

• 2 Cultists (MM p.345)
• 1 Cow‑Suit Acolyte (Cultist with +1 AC, jingle distraction)

Tactics:

• Cultists use surround‑and‑chant (+1 to saving throws).
• Cow‑Suit forces DC 12 Wisdom save or distracted.

Hazard: Animated Snack Machines

• Trigger: Removing coins.
• Stat: Treat as Animated Armor (AC 13, HP 22).
• Attack: Hurls sugar packets (range 20 ft.; Dex DC 13 or blinded 1 round).

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Area 3: Escalator Maze

Read‑Aloud:
“Three escalators shift direction at random. One wrong step and you’re swept off to god‑knows‑where.”

Skill Challenge: 4 checks before escalator resets.

• Acrobatics DC 13
• Perception DC 13
• Arcana DC 13
• Strength DC 12
• Success: Reach basement stairs.
• Failure: Swept to random level; face 1d4 Animated Mannequins (use Mage Hand stats; DC 12 Wisdom or prone).

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Area 4: Basement Stairwell

Read‑Aloud:
“Concrete walls stained with grease. A heavy steel door bears a faded Mooby’s logo. The vault lies beyond.”

Features:

• Dim overhead light; slippery steps (DC 10 Dexterity save or fall prone).

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Area 5: Vault Chamber

Read‑Aloud:
“The door swings open to reveal polished concrete and a single pedestal. Atop it rests a battered VHS labeled ‘Sacred.’ A hulking figure looms: the Tray Lord Sentinel.”

Guardian: Tray Lord Sentinel

• AC: 18 HP: 60
• Soda Tsunami (Recharge 5–6): Dex DC 13 or take 2d6 acid + prone
• Tray‑Axe: +4 to hit, 1d12+2 bludgeoning

Tactics:

• Opens corridor with Soda Tsunami, then charges with Tray‑Axe.

Final Skill:

• Investigation DC 14 to read keypad runes
• Thieves’ Tools DC 14 to disable lock
• Success: Vault opens.
• Failure: Alarm summons 1d4 Cultists + Cow‑Suit Acolyte.

Congratulations

“As the last echoes of that cowbell chant fade, you stand before the shattered pedestal, Sacred VHS in hand. The mall’s fluorescent lights flicker one final time and then stabilize, bathing the abandoned kiosks in a steady glow. Dust motes dance like confetti as you slide the tape from its battered case.

You press ‘Play’ on the nearest dusty VCR and the screen sputters to life. At first it’s just static—but then you see it: Dante’s half-smile as he slams open the Quick Stop door, Randal’s incredulous glare as he piles carts into a gladiatorial arena, Jay’s triumphant “Snootch to the Nooch” catchphrase echoing through a ritual circle. Every lost Askewniverse moment, every outtake and hidden gag, spills across the screen in glorious black-and-white.

The film ends on Silent Bob’s silent shrug—then the image glitches one last time and a single frame lingers: a map scribbled in marker, scrawled with words you recognize from Dante’s old locker. It points to someplace… new. Somewhere even weirder. A grin spreads across your face. You’ve beaten the Cult of the Consumer, but the next reel is already waiting.

4. Stat Block

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5. XP & Treasure

XP Awards (per character)

Encounter	XP
Cultist Fanatics (2d4)	100
Food Court Patrol & Animated Machine	150
Animated Mannequins (1d4)	200
Tray Lord Sentinel	450
Total	900

Treasure (roll 1d6)

d6	Treasure
1	2d6 × 10 gp in vending-machine change
2	Minor trinkets (14 sp each)
3	Vintage Askewniverse pin (50 gp)
4	Strange consumer-god icon (75 gp)
5	Boom Box of Holding
6	2 × Potion of Healing

Boom Box of Holding
• Functions as a Bag of Holding
• Once per day, plays an anthem: allies within 30 ft. gain 1d4 temporary HP.

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DM Tips & Improvisation

1. Streamline Your Skill Challenges

• One roll per player—no marathon of checks.
• Resolve success or failure in a sentence or two.
• If momentum flags, lower the DC by 1 or grant a free reroll to keep flow.

2. Amplify the Atmosphere

• Use brief, evocative sound-effects:
  • A distant creak as metal shifts
  • A low chant echoing down corridors
  • The hiss of a fryer spurting steam
• Pause for a beat after each cue—let the party’s imagination fill the silence.

3. Keep Encounters Mobile

• If the group detours, have cultists or animated machines patrol in their direction.
• Swap in hazards (leaking pipe, tripped alarm) to remind them the mall is alive.
• Vary cultist tactics: sometimes they swarm, sometimes they stalk from shadows.

4. Leverage Your NPCs

• Randal Graves (via whispers): “Thought you’d bail—surprise me.”
• Dante Hicks (fading voice): “The tape’s closer than you think.”
• Jay (crackling radio): “Don’t lose it—or I’m keeping your share.”
• Drop these lines at tense moments to nudge players forward.

5. Dial Up the Escalator Horror

• Describe grinding metal, sparks flying from exposed wiring.
• Random flickers of light create phantom shapes in the dust.
• A single misstep might pitch a character onto a lower level—use it to ratchet tension.

6. Rapid-Fire Improv Moves

• “Yes, and…”: When a player calls out a clever idea, build on it (“Yes—and the fried-chicken scent intensifies as you approach”).
• “Why not?”: If they veer off-script, answer “Why not have a vending machine spew cursed soda at you?”
• “Beat on the Clock”: After 10 minutes real-time, trigger an environmental event—a power surge, an alarm, a cultist reinforcements wave.

Keep it tight, keep it tense, and let the Askewniverse’s absurdity shine through every clang and chant.

Secrets

1. Main Entrance & Lobby → Food Court Gauntlet

Secret Mechanism: Air Vent Grate
Behind a fake vending machine in the lobby is a rusted wall vent. With a DC 12 Perception check, characters can spot scratch marks and a broken screw. Crawling through leads to a crawlspace above the food court, allowing a stealth drop-in behind cultists—great for bypassing direct combat.

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2. Food Court Gauntlet → Escalator Maze

Hidden Shortcut: Service Corridor Behind the Fryers
A soot-covered maintenance door (DC 13 Investigation) behind the fryer portals leads to a narrow utility hallway. At the end is a one-way security gate overlooking the top of the escalator maze. Useful for setting traps or reaching the control panel undetected.

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3. Escalator Maze → Basement Stairwell

Unstable Panel: Emergency Maintenance Hatch
Near the top of the central escalator, there’s a flickering LED panel labeled “EMG ACCESS.” With a DC 15 Engineering or Dexterity check, it opens, revealing a fire ladder shaft bypassing the stairwell entirely and landing just outside the vault’s security door. Risky—fails on a 1-2 cause fall damage.

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4. Basement Stairwell → Vault Chamber

Hidden Elevator Shaft (non-functional)
Midway down the stairwell is a “Janitor’s Closet” with a mop bucket and a warped floor tile. Underneath (DC 14 to pry open), an elevator shaft runs parallel to the stairwell. If powered (perhaps via rerouted snack kiosk energy), it activates a rickety freight lift into the Vault Chamber’s rear wall.

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5. Vault Chamber → Main Entrance

One-Way Mooby’s Tunnel
If someone tries to move the VHS pedestal (DC 18 Strength or clever mechanism bypass), it reveals a descending conveyor tunnel once used for “Mooby’s mascot deliveries.” It winds through defunct mascot suit storage, looping back up to a sealed room behind the front lobby’s “Employees Only” door.