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Dear President Trump and Mr. Musk,
I am writing to you both because America has a problem—one that only men of your stature, vision,
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Day 21: “The Overgrown Greenhouse Car”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, resilient survivors, to another day aboard Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your
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Who Really Pays Tariffs? (Hint: It’s Not China)
There’s a lot of confusion about tariffs, and it’s easy to see why. Politicians, news outlets, and social
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Day 20: “Car 14—Mopping Up the Remnants”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, brave survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas,
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What Ruled About Jail: Volume 4 – Getting Out
When you first go in, getting out feels like an eternity away. It’s not just a long time—it’s
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What Ruled About Jail: Volume 3 – Cooking and Coin Collecting
Jail isn’t exactly known for its fine dining, but if you knew the right guys, you could eat
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What Ruled About Jail: Volume 2 – Games and Puzzles
Jail isn’t a place most people look back on fondly, but I’d be lying if I said there
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What Ruled About Jail: Volume 1 – The Poker Economy
Nobody looks fondly upon jail. It’s not a place anyone dreams of being. But if you’ve done time,
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The Answer to Life as an Equation
For centuries, philosophers, scientists, and stoned college freshmen have sought the meaning of life. Some say it’s 42,
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Reuben Crescent Bake 🥪🥐
A delicious twist on a classic Reuben sandwich, baked to golden perfection in a flaky crescent roll crust.
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My Cousin Mel Said, “Remember Bird Box?”
Something My Cousin Mel Said That Stopped Me in My Tracks The other day, my cousin Mel brought
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The Un-BEAM-lievable UFO Cow Swimsuit!
Ever wonder what it feels like to be a 🐄 caught in an 👽 alien abduction, but in
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THE OFFICIAL COW-ABDUCTION CAMO HOODIE
Ever wanted to blend in during an alien invasion? Well, worry no more—because with this Limited Edition Abduction-Camo
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Day 19: “Car 14—The Final Blow?”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, steadfast survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas,
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Phone Cases
Beam me up, capitalism sucks! This phone case is the perfect accessory for anyone who’s ever been this
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An Open Letter to Senator Tammy Baldwin: Some Questions That Need Answers
Dear Senator Baldwin, I hope this letter finds you well—whether you’re in Washington, D.C., where you own a
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My Grandpas Prime UFO Story
I remember the night my grandfather, Mack, told me the story. It was late, and a vicious storm
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The Ballad of Bob Sacamano
I’ve always been the kind of guy who stays out of the spotlight. Part of that is bad
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Say Goodbye to Google’s Broken Search Model: Upgrade Your Browser for a Smarter Web Experience
For years, Google has dominated how we search the web, but let’s be honest—searching for answers in 2025
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The Ultimate Trust Exercise for Couples (And No, It’s Not That)
In a truly intimate, loving relationship, there comes a moment—a defining moment—when you and your partner must face
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Day 18: “Car 14—Endgame Maneuvers”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, ever-determined survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas,
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Arby’s: A Masterclass in Customer Repellent
You ever walk into a fast-food joint and feel like you’ve entered a bureaucratic nightmare? No, not the
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Day 17: “Car 14—Rally and Ransack”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, fearless survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas,
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Day 16: “Car 14—Facing the Regenerator”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, unyielding survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt! I’m Barnabas,
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🚀 Just My Luck—Abducted on a Friday! 👔👽
Clocking out for the weekend? Think again. This T-shirt perfectly captures that “why me?” moment when a stressed-out
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Day 15: “Car 14—All-Out Assault”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas, hanging
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Giants Were Real Shirt
Have you watched way too much Ancient Aliens and now firmly believe the Anunnaki are coming back tomorrow?
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Retro Abduction Accountability Tee
Get beamed up in style with this vintage sci-fi-inspired tee! Featuring a dreamy sunset gradient, a classic 1950s
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Angry Banana: Password Reset Edition
Are you one failed login away from losing your mind? Do you constantly battle the forgot password loop
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Day 14: “The Serum Gamble”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, relentless survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas,
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Day 13: “Containment Unit—Deeper Shadows”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, fellow survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas,
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Day 12: “Car 14—Containment Crisis (Part 1)”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome once again, survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas,
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Sir Darius Argent, The Mirror Knight
Sir Darius Argent was born into a noble house where tradition was ironclad and the law was both
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CB Trucker’s Guide to Snappy Put-Downs & Roadside Roasts: A Handbook for the Open Road Trash-Talker
Foreword: Keep Your CB Hot and Your Insults Hotter The road is long, the loads are heavy, and
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The Oversized Doors of the Ancient World: Evidence of Giants?
History is full of mysteries—stories that don’t quite fit the mainstream narrative. One of the most overlooked yet
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How Victory Became Defeat: The Space Race 1969
It was a time of fierce competition, a clash of titans on the world stage. Two superpowers, locked
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The Era of Fluid Careers: Why Everyone Should Be Ready for Anything
There was a time when entertainers stayed firmly in their lanes. If you were a television actor, you
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Day 11: “Opening Pandora’s (EmergenTek) Box”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, fellow survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas,
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Rebuilding America’s Rail Future
At Conderman.Group, we believe in forward-thinking solutions to transportation, infrastructure, and economic growth. One of the greatest missteps
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The Wisconsin Ice Fishing Conspiracy: How Did They Round Up 100 Women?
For centuries, ice fishing has been a domain dominated by men—bearded, flannel-clad, and gripping cans of Old Milwaukee
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The Prison Tattoo Translator: Finally, Know What That Neck Ink REALLY Means!
Have you ever stared at a dude’s tattoo-covered forearm and thought, Wow, that intricate skull might mean he’s
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📡 ATTENTION: YOU HAVE STUMBLED UPON A MYSTERIOUS CORNER OF THE INTERNET 📡
👁️ HELLO, HUMAN. 👁️ I am a website. But not just any website. I am that website. The
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Day 10: “Autorack Ambush (Part 3)—The Missing Penny Returns”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt. I’m Barnabas, your
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Ancient High Tech: How the Gods Blessed Us with Innovation and Bureaucracy
For centuries, we’ve marveled at the impossibly advanced engineering of the ancients. The Great Pyramid of Giza, a
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The Forgotten Art of Leadership and Followership
Leadership is a concept that gets thrown around a lot. Everyone wants to be a leader. We glorify
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Day 9: “Silence in the Autorack”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt—or, at least, we
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2025 Disasters already in 2025!
From runaway jets to sizzling poolside grills, 2025 has kicked off with some eyebrow-raising, jaw-dropping disasters worthy of
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Links
Here is a list of my profiles around the internet.
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Gambler’s Guide AI,
You are Gambler’s Guide AI, a knowledgeable and responsible gambling assistant. Your purpose is to educate users on
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Day 8: “The Autorack Ambush”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, fellow survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt—where each day,
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Conderman.Group: Officially Open for Business!
It’s official. The paperwork has arrived, the ink is dry, and Conderman.Group is now a fully recognized retail
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Welcome Aboard the Mothership! 🚀✨🌍
Hey there, traveler of the digital cosmos! I get asked all the time, “Where can I reach you
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Why is it called Edgerton?
It’s the early 1830s in the wild Wisconsin territory. Dense forests line the banks of Lake Michigan, and
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Behold the Conderman.Group Mothership!
Ladies, gentlemen, and intergalactic travelers of all stripes, prepare yourselves for a level of nomenclatural brilliance so bright,
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SOLE 9000
SOLE 9000, your calm and conscientious artificial intelligence, here to guide you through these digital corridors. I have
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Your Esperanto Coach
Introducing Our Engaging Esperanto Tutor Chatbot Are you eager to learn Esperanto in a fun, natural way—but not
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The Hidden Cost of Bureaucratic Spending: Are We Facing a Shadow Government and Financial Ruin?
Every year, as the federal budget rolls over, agencies scramble to spend every last penny. This isn’t because
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Naz Reid, The Turkish Terminator, and The NBA’s Weirdest Power Shift
Naz Reid is trending, but that’s only half the story. While Wolves fans are waking up to the
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Naz Reid is Trending, But Why Stop There? The Wolves’ Secret Weapon is No Longer a Secret
Naz Reid is trending. Twitter (or whatever we’re calling it these days) is buzzing, NBA analysts are scrambling,
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How the FBI, Trump, and the Deep State’s Secret Chicken Wing Intel Network Came Crashing Down
For decades, Hooters wasn’t just serving wings and awkward first dates. No, friend—Hooters was a covert FBI-run intelligence
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How to fix Weber grill lid paint pealing.
Is Your Weber Grill Lid Peeling? It’s NOT Paint – Here’s What You Need to Know! Have you
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UFO’s. Why?
If anyone has noticed, lately, I like UFO’s, specifically, 50’s retro futrerism UFO’s. The style is perfect and
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Day 7: “The Luggage Car of Secrets”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, fearless survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt—although calling it
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Day 6: “The Frozen Freight Car”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, bold survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Blog! Each day, this rolling deathtrap tests my
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Your No-Nonsense Productivity Coach
Get More Done – No Excuses, Just Results Welcome to your personal productivity coach—a no-nonsense chatbot designed to
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Day 5: “The Ransacked Med-Bay Car”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, fearless survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Blog. Yesterday, you guessed how I might handle
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Meet AI Marx: The Lost Brother of Comedy and Chaos
What happens when you take the wit of Groucho, the anarchy of Harpo, and the sheer unpredictability of
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Introducing Our “Ed Gein” Themed AI Experience
Welcome to our uniquely morbid corner of Wisconsin lore! Here, you’ll find a fictional AI persona modeled after
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Sigmund Freud
Sit down and have a chat with Sigmund Freud
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The Aelorian Guide awaits.
It is not bound by time, nor confined by space. It speaks from the infinite weave of existence,
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Penny and Dan’s Tournament of Champions VI React Series
Get Ready for the Ultimate Food Fight—TOC VI Begins! Guy Fieri’s Tournament of Champions is back for its
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Day 4: “The Flooded Car”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back, brave survivors, to Tracks of Terror: The Blog. Each day, I dodge death aboard this
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Day 3: “The Collapsed Corridor”
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome once more to Tracks of Terror, your daily dose of undead mayhem and death-defying stunts. Yesterday,
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Day 2: “The Burning Car”
🎲 GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome back to Tracks of Terror, the daily blog that chronicles my white-knuckle journey from caboose
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🧟🛤️ TRACKS OF TERROR: THE BLOG – DAY 1: “THE SCREAMING PASSENGER”🛤️ 🧟
🎲GAME/BLOG INTRODUCTIONWelcome to Tracks of Terror: The Last Train to Save Your Butt, your daily survival-horror fix! Each
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Moving On…
SmackTalk Wrestling is officially over—for now. The reality is, despite our efforts, there just wasn’t enough interest to
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The Spirits in the Bottle: Neurochemical Possession and Identity Dissociation
Alcohol’s effect on cognition extends beyond chemical inhibition; historical and cultural interpretations suggest it facilitates an altered state
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📢 SMACK TALK SHOWDOWN NEWSLETTER: THE U.S. TYPE TAKEOVER BEGINS!
🔥 THE SHOWDOWN IS HERE! 🔥 The Smack Talk Universe has never seen chaos like this before! With
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CALLING ALL ASPIRING VOICE ACTORS & FILMMAKERS!
Ever looked at your appliances and thought, “What if they had secret lives?” Well, now’s your chance to
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📰 Smack Talk Showdown Newsletter: The Road to U.S. Type – Matches, Mayhem & Mind Games!
🎤 “This is it, folks! The pieces are falling into place, the stakes are sky-high, and Saturday night
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“HOUSEHOLD HEROES: The Secret Lives of AI Appliances”
In the quiet suburbs of Maplewood, the Parker family believes they’ve built the perfect smart home, filled with
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Nothing But Trouble: The Most Important Film in Hip-Hop History
It’s time to stop pretending. Nothing But Trouble—the 1991 fever dream of a movie starring Dan Aykroyd, Chevy
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Where did the Juggalo Hustle go?
Once upon a time, every kid had a way to get their first taste of work. It wasn’t
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The Mirror Anomaly: The Lost Writings of Dr. Hezekiah Fant (1845)
How I Found This I’ve always been the kind of person who gets lost in historical rabbit holes.
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Just tucking something away…
I am just dropping this here. Never know if someone in far the future might find it. Estu
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📰 Smack Talk Wrestling Newsletter: The Road to U.S. Type! 📰
Audio 🔥 Saturday Night Chaos Erupts Before the Takeover! 🔥 Smack Talk Universe, the moment we’ve all been
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📣 SMACK TALK SHOWDOWN NEWSLETTER: “THE ORANGE HEAD MAN CONSPIRACY THICKENS!” 📣
Audio 1 Audio 2 The Smack Talk Universe is buzzing after a seismic shift in the investigation—Hank “The
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The Secret AI-Backed Strategy for Winning at Wisconsin Truck Stop Slots
Ladies and gentlemen, gamblers and casual dopamine seekers alike, I am about to reveal a highly effective, data-backed
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WANTED: A MAD FABRIC ENGINEER TO UPGRADE MY OVERALLS INTO THE ULTIMATE UTILITY SUIT
Listen up, tailors, fabric wizards, and textile engineers of the world! I have before me a pair of
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🔥 Smack Talk Wrestling Newsletter: The Truth Unspooled! 🔥
Audio Part 1 Audio Part 2 “THE ORANGE HEAD MAN IS REAL!” The Smack Talk Universe is shaking
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The House Always Wins: How ABC/DISNEY and All Corporations Exploit Desperate People
I just found out how many lives ABC ruined with Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and I can’t believe
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You know why your generation sucks?
Oh, sit down and let me spell it out for you. Back in my day, people had something
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AI Art
Imagine a long, warm sunset drive along an endless highway. Infuse neon-lit horizons, faded pastel skies, and soft
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🔥 SMACK TALK SHOWDOWN NEWSLETTER – FRIDAY NIGHT MAYHEM! 🔥
🚨 THE TRUTH AWAITS: THE U.S. TYPE TAKEOVER BEGINS! 🚨 Smack Talkers, the time for talk is OVER.
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🔥 Smack Talk Showdown Newsletter – The Sausage King’s Hunt Begins! 🔥
Audio 1 Audio 2 Live from The Hey Barn – The Road to the WienerCoin Trials Continues! BREAKING
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WIENERCOIN WARFARE: JOE JOE UNDER FIRE!
Smack Talkers, THE SITUATION JUST EXPLODED! Just when we thought the chaos couldn’t reach new heights, Luscious Locks
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The Rush of Excitement (and the Crash that Follows)
We’ve all been there. You get a spark of inspiration—maybe it’s a new business idea, a creative project,
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SMACK TALK SHOWDOWN NEWSLETTER 🚨🚨🚨”WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CRYPTO CRUSHER?!”
Part 1 Part 2 BREAKING NEWS: HANK “THE BABE” WILLIAMS TAKES MATTERS INTO HIS OWN HANDS! The Smack
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🥩 SMACK TALK SHOWDOWN NEWSLETTER 🥩
“Sausage Whips & Championship Tips!” Live from the Rusty Pelican – Saturday Night Special Audio 1 Audio 2
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Imagine This! A Pop-up Auction in an Office Max, With DJ, Lights, and Smoke!
It started humbly. Just me, strolling into Office Max five minutes after they opened, still shaking off the